My room is a mess. The after Thanksgiving dinners have helped some. My friends in Long Beach have been very accommodating with their invites, but I've been predisposed with my new nephew. I love having a nephew in Los Angeles. I love kids. Holding Dane in my arms for hours while he slept was amazing today.
Recently my days have been filled with finding the elusive job, those jobs the Obama stimulus package have opened up all across this great nation. Alas, I have found none. McDonald's isn't even hiring...yeah, I've tried.
I don't know what else to say really. I've had families close to me donate finances for this time, and I've had friends offer their savings...it's strange in this time to be turned down for a Cheesecake Factory job, when I once was a Macaroni Grill superstar. Life is strange right now. Applying to anything and everything and not getting a response. I know these days are not forever, but it's strange nonetheless.
At least I'm still alive and not in Minnesota :)
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Above Reproach
What does that mean really? Well, I looked it up and this is the definition of reproach: Disgrace; shame. So, to be above reproach would be to be above disgrace or shame. I've hated that term for so long. I feel the reason may be because I always heard it coming from church ladies or simple minded weaker men in my life. I'm so sick of the traditional way people in America treat Christianity as a practice, as a lifestyle. I've traveled (granted not as much as most, but I've been out there). I've seen a people take part in a culture unlike Americans, a culture where Christians will meet for a few beers after a morning mass/service. Whatever. I'm over that point.
I respect that term now, being above reproach. I think there's much to be said about a man who can be looked at and deemed to be not "a disgrace" or "shameful". I guess I've always believed that being above reproach has more to do with what is seen around you, or who one should look up to. I agree, there are many men and families in the church who can lead a positive example, but I'm of the mindset that if I want to lead a positive example, I want to do it honestly.
I used to volunteer in the youth group at my church before I was of drinking age, but haven't since. Why? Because everyone that worked with youth in the church I grew up in had to vow not to drink or smoke or dance or whatever...to remain above reproach, and that pissed me off. I haven't volunteered since.
I'm beginning to question - question mind you - that if I am to live a life above reproach, does that mean I can't drink, dance, smoke or gamble for enjoyments sake?
I was talking with a lovely woman on the phone today and I expressed all this to her. I feel you who are married have an amazing ability to lead a life that remains above reproach as an example of a Christian couple to your community. Sure, there are those that seem more "spiritual" or further along in their understanding of such tic tacky subjects of the Christian life, but are those always THE example, period? I have a mentor and I love him to death, but if I'm expected to live up to the standard that he and his wife live, I will have to sacrifice much of who I am. And I'm not talking sinful stuff, I'm just saying normal stuff.
Dancing for example. I like to dance, I may not be good at it, but, I like it. I am looking for a woman who likes it too. I love Spain. I love the way they are so uninhibited and will just dance with anyone, because they love to do it. How come we cannot live a life here, where dancing and expression is celebrated? Where parties aren't just a bunch of chumps (like myself) standing around? To be above reproach in that sense, if one is married, has more to do with the couple doesn't it? If one wants to dance and the other is in conversation? Sure, people can question the shame of the person dancing, but what of the relationship of the couple? The wife dancing with a friend while the husband discusses with Keith about when he's going to have a child already? If the husband knows and has confidence with his wife, can't that be something freeing and an example to our culture?
I just hate the idea of living my life based on the weakest of faith. I guess that's my beef with all this. "If you cause your brother to stumble" because they are weaker in faith doesn't mean you live your life to the weakest among you. If we all did that, we'd become a bunch of Christians who constantly are taking the social temperature of our peers.
I respect the elders of my church, I do. But sometimes I think we all are individuals with different interests and pleasures. For some it's video games, for others it's something else. For me, I suppose it's looking across the room to see someone I love conversing with someone independent of myself, perhaps even dancing...and knowing we are in love, and a simple conversation or dance will not effect my faith in her or Christ. Even better, and more romantic, is seeing them dance with someone and cutting in essentially saving her and really showing her a good time.
That's all.
I respect that term now, being above reproach. I think there's much to be said about a man who can be looked at and deemed to be not "a disgrace" or "shameful". I guess I've always believed that being above reproach has more to do with what is seen around you, or who one should look up to. I agree, there are many men and families in the church who can lead a positive example, but I'm of the mindset that if I want to lead a positive example, I want to do it honestly.
I used to volunteer in the youth group at my church before I was of drinking age, but haven't since. Why? Because everyone that worked with youth in the church I grew up in had to vow not to drink or smoke or dance or whatever...to remain above reproach, and that pissed me off. I haven't volunteered since.
I'm beginning to question - question mind you - that if I am to live a life above reproach, does that mean I can't drink, dance, smoke or gamble for enjoyments sake?
I was talking with a lovely woman on the phone today and I expressed all this to her. I feel you who are married have an amazing ability to lead a life that remains above reproach as an example of a Christian couple to your community. Sure, there are those that seem more "spiritual" or further along in their understanding of such tic tacky subjects of the Christian life, but are those always THE example, period? I have a mentor and I love him to death, but if I'm expected to live up to the standard that he and his wife live, I will have to sacrifice much of who I am. And I'm not talking sinful stuff, I'm just saying normal stuff.
Dancing for example. I like to dance, I may not be good at it, but, I like it. I am looking for a woman who likes it too. I love Spain. I love the way they are so uninhibited and will just dance with anyone, because they love to do it. How come we cannot live a life here, where dancing and expression is celebrated? Where parties aren't just a bunch of chumps (like myself) standing around? To be above reproach in that sense, if one is married, has more to do with the couple doesn't it? If one wants to dance and the other is in conversation? Sure, people can question the shame of the person dancing, but what of the relationship of the couple? The wife dancing with a friend while the husband discusses with Keith about when he's going to have a child already? If the husband knows and has confidence with his wife, can't that be something freeing and an example to our culture?
I just hate the idea of living my life based on the weakest of faith. I guess that's my beef with all this. "If you cause your brother to stumble" because they are weaker in faith doesn't mean you live your life to the weakest among you. If we all did that, we'd become a bunch of Christians who constantly are taking the social temperature of our peers.
I respect the elders of my church, I do. But sometimes I think we all are individuals with different interests and pleasures. For some it's video games, for others it's something else. For me, I suppose it's looking across the room to see someone I love conversing with someone independent of myself, perhaps even dancing...and knowing we are in love, and a simple conversation or dance will not effect my faith in her or Christ. Even better, and more romantic, is seeing them dance with someone and cutting in essentially saving her and really showing her a good time.
That's all.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
5AM!!! Are you Effing Kidding me?
To wish for something seems like nonsense to me. I used to wish for stupid things at the Perkins restaurant "Wishing Well" before we had a treat of silver dollar pancakes, which, in itself was the very wish while waiting to be seated. Wishes after that never seemed to materialized unless they were verbally spoken so one might hear; even that seemed like a wash.
I wish. Is wishing a hope? Cause if it is, I'm down with that. But when asking a genie you hope for this or that, it doesn't make much sense when you know you're going to receive whatever you're hoping for. A wish seems more of a command in that sense doesn't it?
Wishing seems to be more of a lost cause though. I wish I were smarter, I wish I didn't marry so and so, I wish I wouldn't have voted Republican...etc. It's like a lost cause right?
The reason why I say this, and why I go to such length to explain, is because when I was about to update my blog I was about to write "I wish I could write gooder". Obviously I have made it stupid on purpose, but really, sometimes I wish I could write gooder. Then this whole thing about wishing being a lost cause came to mind, distracting me from whatever gooder thing I wanted to write. But, if wishes were hopes, then I have a chance, cause hope is cool. I think it's cool to have hope now, that's my new thing. But if wishing were a command (like to a genie), I'd already be writing gooder, but many of those who are reading, have already been able to pick out a dozen punctuation miscues...of which at, this, point I care. Not.
I wish I could erase all things I thought would end up hurting others...really...I do. I think there are a lot of those things out there, most are still outstanding. Even as I write this, I can hear the peanut gallery (so to speak) commenting "I wish you didn't write this and waste my time".
Who knows. I guess my thoughts with wishing are, we're either trying to glance back into the past, like, "I wish I never broke Biola's code of conduct and went to Ye Olde Ship that St. Patrick's day" or, looking forward, "I wish Keith and K would seriously just have a kid already!".
I don't care, it's neither here nor there, it's just the rambling of a tired, sleepy, worn out man. A man who wishes he could sleep and not think so much about ridiculous subjects.
I wish. Is wishing a hope? Cause if it is, I'm down with that. But when asking a genie you hope for this or that, it doesn't make much sense when you know you're going to receive whatever you're hoping for. A wish seems more of a command in that sense doesn't it?
Wishing seems to be more of a lost cause though. I wish I were smarter, I wish I didn't marry so and so, I wish I wouldn't have voted Republican...etc. It's like a lost cause right?
The reason why I say this, and why I go to such length to explain, is because when I was about to update my blog I was about to write "I wish I could write gooder". Obviously I have made it stupid on purpose, but really, sometimes I wish I could write gooder. Then this whole thing about wishing being a lost cause came to mind, distracting me from whatever gooder thing I wanted to write. But, if wishes were hopes, then I have a chance, cause hope is cool. I think it's cool to have hope now, that's my new thing. But if wishing were a command (like to a genie), I'd already be writing gooder, but many of those who are reading, have already been able to pick out a dozen punctuation miscues...of which at, this, point I care. Not.
I wish I could erase all things I thought would end up hurting others...really...I do. I think there are a lot of those things out there, most are still outstanding. Even as I write this, I can hear the peanut gallery (so to speak) commenting "I wish you didn't write this and waste my time".
Who knows. I guess my thoughts with wishing are, we're either trying to glance back into the past, like, "I wish I never broke Biola's code of conduct and went to Ye Olde Ship that St. Patrick's day" or, looking forward, "I wish Keith and K would seriously just have a kid already!".
I don't care, it's neither here nor there, it's just the rambling of a tired, sleepy, worn out man. A man who wishes he could sleep and not think so much about ridiculous subjects.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
This might hurt your brain...it hurt mine
These are just thoughts mind you.
It would probably be wise of me to ponder these things in my heart for a time and write them in my memoirs, later to be found by my children and studied for decades after I'm gone; however, I doubt I'll have the opportunity to write these thoughts out, seeing as they come rarely and leave swiftly. Thoughts seem to haunt me just before sleep, more questions than conclusive "self talk". For instance.
Why didn't Gandhi bring peace and prosperity to all of India's citizens? Why has white America, after many years of apologizing for the sins of our slave owning fathers and admonishing those who endorse racism, still feeling the tension of guilt? Why are those who have felt oppression within this nation expecting this nation to change its tone and offer them riches in exchange? Why is Social Justice and political correctness more popular than the study of ancient philosophical truth and debate?
Remember when Cicero and Plato were popular in Rome? Remember when it was cool to study Cicero in depth and try to find discernment where he may have missed something, and perhaps you could add something further and change the course of thought for centuries? It was pretty cool to eloquently debate ideals which made spectators sit and watch (and perhaps learn something) and have respected philosophers and politicians take note.
Remember when it was cool to rationally accept others opinions then later research those opinions with the idea you may be wrong, but are rigorously studying so you could prove them wrong, then perhaps have an epiphany you both could ascribe to?
Remember when religious thought was apart of the debate and seen as a reasonable accepted approach to philosophy (as long as you were well educated with the popular pagan philosophers of the time)?
How come the average American male (between the ages of 17-35) is spending 2 1/2 hours a day playing video games while the ancient Roman student was expected to write books on rhetoric by age 20? Where did the value of reason go? Where did rational discourse disappear to?
Our modern American politicians are playboys and celebrities. Men and women who, from an early age, have learned the art of self promotion. Even their rhetoric is ignorant and makes no sense.
I don't know, this stuff just hit me this evening/early morning. I've been reading a biography of St. Augustine and it took me back 11 years to my philosophy classes when I was uninterested in mostly everything but girls. We didn't study Augustine, but I read a bit of Cicero and he's mentioned a lot in this book.
There was a general acceptance among thinkers to consider religious absolutes as long as they were absolutes that held water. And Christian thinkers accepted pagan discourse and debate, because they knew there was something intelligent there.
What happened to all that?
I met someone yesterday, a Christian man who confessed some pretty amazing things, things that encouraged, convicted and brought me deeper in my understanding of this whole "gay rights" thing. Remember when our culture started to demand we take wickedness (which is who we are, if given to ourselves) as a right? Remember when Christians began to believe that social justice and equality would promote holiness?
Well, in talking with this gentleman, I now know that a culture of "living gay is living holy" makes about as much sense as "living with your girlfriend is living holy". I can't believe how much our culture as a church has hurt this man's belief in a redeemed life. How amazing that God brought him to a place of understanding and ultimately a place to minister to me.
Remember when speaking boldly in truth was supposed to happen, and it was because we all thirst for knowledge, truth, understanding and ultimately a love none of us can offer or satisfy? Not a nation, not a sexual preference, not freedom of bondage, not even intelligence; none of these things satisfy our cravings for redemption, not to mention our fleshly lusts.
Don't think I'm discounting the place Gandhi played in history, or his political and spiritual leadership that pushed the British out of their country. However, who is going to free the Indian citizens from the social stratafication and restriction of the caste system that was ushered in as a result, now leaving the majority of India in poverty, starvation and death?
The social demographic in America is an interesting subject in itself, and in some ways reflects man's struggle with God. Adam (my father, of which all men are sons) sinned against himself and against God, thus, we are eternally looking to be righted for this wrong, we expect it even. The thing is this, we are looking for satisfaction everywhere and anywhere. Most importantly, we are looking at ourselves as a vessel that can offer this needed retribution and redemption through our careers, relationships, knowledge and social status, yet we remain tense with guilt, hate, cynicism and entitlement. Why is that? Why can't we just forgive Adam ourselves and move on? Why can't I ask another son of Adam to apologize for his father's sin and feel redeemed and justified? Well, for one, we don't have the power to forgive sins; two, we can't be redeemed by something that internally betrayed us.
I'm not surprised the social/racial temperature in America hasn't changed since Obama's inauguration, in some cases it's become worse. How can a country who has historically sinned against it's own citizens redeem itself? It can't. It certainly won't through the promotion of social justice, because that's based on what is expectation and entitlement, and in no way can America offer enough forgiveness.
If we were only a country that made it cool again to search out philosophical ideas that promoted deep thought into truth and debated these truths. If we could only see that the social justice movement is simply promoting an idea that if we can push one thing out we'll be on the road to healing; what that movement fails to see, is the same movement that pushed the British out of India ushered in a destructive and evil system of religious government which is killing it's citizens.
Our culture will never allow a rational debate of Christ as Savior who forgives all sins; until then, we will continue to worship our political correctness, our right to kill unborn babies and elevate our celebrities to the greatness of Cicero.
It would probably be wise of me to ponder these things in my heart for a time and write them in my memoirs, later to be found by my children and studied for decades after I'm gone; however, I doubt I'll have the opportunity to write these thoughts out, seeing as they come rarely and leave swiftly. Thoughts seem to haunt me just before sleep, more questions than conclusive "self talk". For instance.
Why didn't Gandhi bring peace and prosperity to all of India's citizens? Why has white America, after many years of apologizing for the sins of our slave owning fathers and admonishing those who endorse racism, still feeling the tension of guilt? Why are those who have felt oppression within this nation expecting this nation to change its tone and offer them riches in exchange? Why is Social Justice and political correctness more popular than the study of ancient philosophical truth and debate?
Remember when Cicero and Plato were popular in Rome? Remember when it was cool to study Cicero in depth and try to find discernment where he may have missed something, and perhaps you could add something further and change the course of thought for centuries? It was pretty cool to eloquently debate ideals which made spectators sit and watch (and perhaps learn something) and have respected philosophers and politicians take note.
Remember when it was cool to rationally accept others opinions then later research those opinions with the idea you may be wrong, but are rigorously studying so you could prove them wrong, then perhaps have an epiphany you both could ascribe to?
Remember when religious thought was apart of the debate and seen as a reasonable accepted approach to philosophy (as long as you were well educated with the popular pagan philosophers of the time)?
How come the average American male (between the ages of 17-35) is spending 2 1/2 hours a day playing video games while the ancient Roman student was expected to write books on rhetoric by age 20? Where did the value of reason go? Where did rational discourse disappear to?
Our modern American politicians are playboys and celebrities. Men and women who, from an early age, have learned the art of self promotion. Even their rhetoric is ignorant and makes no sense.
I don't know, this stuff just hit me this evening/early morning. I've been reading a biography of St. Augustine and it took me back 11 years to my philosophy classes when I was uninterested in mostly everything but girls. We didn't study Augustine, but I read a bit of Cicero and he's mentioned a lot in this book.
There was a general acceptance among thinkers to consider religious absolutes as long as they were absolutes that held water. And Christian thinkers accepted pagan discourse and debate, because they knew there was something intelligent there.
What happened to all that?
I met someone yesterday, a Christian man who confessed some pretty amazing things, things that encouraged, convicted and brought me deeper in my understanding of this whole "gay rights" thing. Remember when our culture started to demand we take wickedness (which is who we are, if given to ourselves) as a right? Remember when Christians began to believe that social justice and equality would promote holiness?
Well, in talking with this gentleman, I now know that a culture of "living gay is living holy" makes about as much sense as "living with your girlfriend is living holy". I can't believe how much our culture as a church has hurt this man's belief in a redeemed life. How amazing that God brought him to a place of understanding and ultimately a place to minister to me.
Remember when speaking boldly in truth was supposed to happen, and it was because we all thirst for knowledge, truth, understanding and ultimately a love none of us can offer or satisfy? Not a nation, not a sexual preference, not freedom of bondage, not even intelligence; none of these things satisfy our cravings for redemption, not to mention our fleshly lusts.
Don't think I'm discounting the place Gandhi played in history, or his political and spiritual leadership that pushed the British out of their country. However, who is going to free the Indian citizens from the social stratafication and restriction of the caste system that was ushered in as a result, now leaving the majority of India in poverty, starvation and death?
The social demographic in America is an interesting subject in itself, and in some ways reflects man's struggle with God. Adam (my father, of which all men are sons) sinned against himself and against God, thus, we are eternally looking to be righted for this wrong, we expect it even. The thing is this, we are looking for satisfaction everywhere and anywhere. Most importantly, we are looking at ourselves as a vessel that can offer this needed retribution and redemption through our careers, relationships, knowledge and social status, yet we remain tense with guilt, hate, cynicism and entitlement. Why is that? Why can't we just forgive Adam ourselves and move on? Why can't I ask another son of Adam to apologize for his father's sin and feel redeemed and justified? Well, for one, we don't have the power to forgive sins; two, we can't be redeemed by something that internally betrayed us.
I'm not surprised the social/racial temperature in America hasn't changed since Obama's inauguration, in some cases it's become worse. How can a country who has historically sinned against it's own citizens redeem itself? It can't. It certainly won't through the promotion of social justice, because that's based on what is expectation and entitlement, and in no way can America offer enough forgiveness.
If we were only a country that made it cool again to search out philosophical ideas that promoted deep thought into truth and debated these truths. If we could only see that the social justice movement is simply promoting an idea that if we can push one thing out we'll be on the road to healing; what that movement fails to see, is the same movement that pushed the British out of India ushered in a destructive and evil system of religious government which is killing it's citizens.
Our culture will never allow a rational debate of Christ as Savior who forgives all sins; until then, we will continue to worship our political correctness, our right to kill unborn babies and elevate our celebrities to the greatness of Cicero.
Monday, July 6, 2009
I have nothing clever to say
I haven't been writing much on this blog. It seems the constant stream of "tweets" and "status updates" have taken over, and sensory overload is almost at a peak. There is a slow, but very sobering realization regarding these social networking sites; they create an environment ripe for personal marketing and self exploitation. Sure, I love the idea that I have a place I can easily click through the photos I like, but in reality, I just want other people to look at my photos and think "wow, that's a really good shot, he should be a professional photographer" and then see there is actually a place underneath in which to comment "wow, that's a really good shot, you should be a professional photographer".
I easily fall into the lie that I need to outdo someone else's status update, I spend a good 5 minutes writing and rewriting a "clever" update worthy to be read, but then I quit, defeated that I couldn't really think of anything funny or thoughtful. This is where it gets ridiculous though, I begin to think to myself "I'm really not that clever" or "my photos aren't really that good, at least compared to this or that person".
So, I haven't written anything worth reading on this thing, because I've been spending my time roaming the sites that suck out any and all freedom to be myself, really be myself. And to be honest, that's not where I'm really able to be myself anyway, or shouldn't look to be myself; blogging isn't where I really am myself for that matter. I guess I've found myself to be most myself right here, in my room, reading. There was a time when I fooled myself into thinking I feel most myself at parties or social gatherings, but that's really not the truth either.
I'm not a very introverted individual, if you know me well, you know I don't consider leaving a party until a good handful of people are on their way out, and even then, I attempt to make the party last a bit longer. But, life around me is changing pretty quickly and I'm seeing the more I find myself alone, the more I'm discovering my desire to know myself the way God is currently preparing me to be or become.
I guess in order to really take on that type of observation, I've had to look at who God guided me to be back when I was just a kid, and how that relates to who I was yesterday and who I am today.
I question my ideas of family, my ideas of masculinity and my examples of both. Though I don't admit the influence of media has formed my opinion of what I deserve as a man, I cannot deny it has caused me to consider the very notion of "what I deserve 'as a man'".
I suppose we go on in our lives checking our "status updates" and "tweets" just to see what other people are doing, or because we want someone to care enough about us that they'll make a comment that will take 2 seconds; 2 seconds to make a comment and never have whatever we updated be brought up in person. Or we'll make suggestions other people should do, but when approached to actually come through on that idea, we make excuses. You see, I guess what I'm saying is, my cyber life is a lot easier to live. I really don't have to be working through anything, exploring my inner self to see whether or not I measure up as a man, a friend, a son; Facebook tells me whether I measure up on a day to day basis. It tells me whether I made a funny, clever, insightful comment or status update, or whether I took a good picture and made it look cool or not. I can reveal frustrations when I want attention, my exhaustion when I want sympathy, my joy when I want a pat on the back; I can make an encouraging comment or say happy birthday in a way everyone and their friends can see (with a profile picture that says, I'm the shit, you'll want to know me).
I am finding real interaction is a luxury in this world outside Facebook and Twitter, however, it is also a luxury to find old and forgotten friends and follow their lives from a distance, when otherwise would be completely unknown. But, the exploration of who I am and want to become is not a status update or tweet, it is not a new picture or comment, it is outside this computer seen by few.
I easily fall into the lie that I need to outdo someone else's status update, I spend a good 5 minutes writing and rewriting a "clever" update worthy to be read, but then I quit, defeated that I couldn't really think of anything funny or thoughtful. This is where it gets ridiculous though, I begin to think to myself "I'm really not that clever" or "my photos aren't really that good, at least compared to this or that person".
So, I haven't written anything worth reading on this thing, because I've been spending my time roaming the sites that suck out any and all freedom to be myself, really be myself. And to be honest, that's not where I'm really able to be myself anyway, or shouldn't look to be myself; blogging isn't where I really am myself for that matter. I guess I've found myself to be most myself right here, in my room, reading. There was a time when I fooled myself into thinking I feel most myself at parties or social gatherings, but that's really not the truth either.
I'm not a very introverted individual, if you know me well, you know I don't consider leaving a party until a good handful of people are on their way out, and even then, I attempt to make the party last a bit longer. But, life around me is changing pretty quickly and I'm seeing the more I find myself alone, the more I'm discovering my desire to know myself the way God is currently preparing me to be or become.
I guess in order to really take on that type of observation, I've had to look at who God guided me to be back when I was just a kid, and how that relates to who I was yesterday and who I am today.
I question my ideas of family, my ideas of masculinity and my examples of both. Though I don't admit the influence of media has formed my opinion of what I deserve as a man, I cannot deny it has caused me to consider the very notion of "what I deserve 'as a man'".
I suppose we go on in our lives checking our "status updates" and "tweets" just to see what other people are doing, or because we want someone to care enough about us that they'll make a comment that will take 2 seconds; 2 seconds to make a comment and never have whatever we updated be brought up in person. Or we'll make suggestions other people should do, but when approached to actually come through on that idea, we make excuses. You see, I guess what I'm saying is, my cyber life is a lot easier to live. I really don't have to be working through anything, exploring my inner self to see whether or not I measure up as a man, a friend, a son; Facebook tells me whether I measure up on a day to day basis. It tells me whether I made a funny, clever, insightful comment or status update, or whether I took a good picture and made it look cool or not. I can reveal frustrations when I want attention, my exhaustion when I want sympathy, my joy when I want a pat on the back; I can make an encouraging comment or say happy birthday in a way everyone and their friends can see (with a profile picture that says, I'm the shit, you'll want to know me).
I am finding real interaction is a luxury in this world outside Facebook and Twitter, however, it is also a luxury to find old and forgotten friends and follow their lives from a distance, when otherwise would be completely unknown. But, the exploration of who I am and want to become is not a status update or tweet, it is not a new picture or comment, it is outside this computer seen by few.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Summertime
That's when he looked up at me, under these muslin lights on the back porch after the smoke stung his eyes; he said "You should read the New Yorker, that is, if you want to know what's going on, everyone I know reads the New Yorker. I particularly like the writings of Nick Hornby as well...I mean, if you're looking to read".
It was a very hot and sweaty July evening, the kind of evening where the boxer briefs cling and the gnats can't seem to stay out of ones nostrils, the only thing happening this night, is a bottle of wine a hand rolled cigarette and the epiphany that I never want to say anything remotely close to what he just said.
It was a very hot and sweaty July evening, the kind of evening where the boxer briefs cling and the gnats can't seem to stay out of ones nostrils, the only thing happening this night, is a bottle of wine a hand rolled cigarette and the epiphany that I never want to say anything remotely close to what he just said.
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