Choices

Can you remember the very first time you had a drag of a cigarette? Mine was at a sleep over with my little league baseball team in a lower middle class neighborhood of St. Louis Park, MN. The host was the son of a single mother who smoked Marlbro Reds and drank cheap whiskey. We were a clan of nine boys all under the age of 12 without the proper supervision. We watched Aliens and crank called the whole city while searching the liquor cabinet for some unknown drink which was not the normal 2% milk I was used to. I remember one of my teammates pucking on the hardwood floor after taking a sip of some colorless liquid from a bottle with a red label. Then came the cigarettes. It was then I had to make a choice. It was late, and I knew if I called my mom I would no longer be seen as a leader on my team, if I called my mom, I would be in trouble. So, the cigarette came my way and I inhaled with an untrained breath. I coughed and coughed till I became red in the eyes. Everyone laughed as I passed the burning tobacco to the next sucker who already knew what fate awaited him. To this day, I believe it was the most horrible experience I went through as a child. I made a choice I knew was wrong, yet even at the age of 12, I went against everything I knew was right.
I had a conversation with a friend of mine last night about the choices we make as adults. His rhetorical question was "is it that life and situations become more complicated as we get older, or do we make life complicated by our choices?" Peer pressure becomes less obvious when we age. We know the decisions we make are our decisions, we are independent, logical and experienced.
The choice I made last night to go home after having this conversation with my friend instead of spending the night on the couch, was by far the best choice I've made in the last 4 weeks. Why? Because I actually took some time this morning to figure out what the hell was wrong with my iPod...I fixed it. It works now. I wish every choice would have the same outcome.
I'm still inhaling life with an untrained breath and coughing till my eyes turn red.