Fulfillment

I don't know what it is, but when I came home from work today and tapped into my illegal wireless access, I didn't feel like I could chill. I felt a little empty, like I had things to do. So I browsed the internet looking at prison photos of abu ghraib and wondering how cruel Americans can be...even though a supporter of what we did, I don't agree with that shit. Anyway, I had a beautiful conversation with a sweet heart from New Jersey and was suddenly content with my evening. I had a great day today. It looks as though I'll be the front man for my department to our recently contracted customers and work directly with them in their transition stage...before I go too far, I'll just note, it's a good placement for me and most people won't understand, and it's boring. Anyways, the conversation I had with NJ and my buddy Dan, really helped in my feeling of fulfillment tonight. Mind you, I feel this way just about every night, only I had some kind of relief. Thanks guys, have a good night.

Just Another Day

So I don't know about you, but I was reading some of the top news stories and something really odd struck me. It's just really weird how such a nice happy family ends up dead. Kinda strange huh? I mean, that's what the neighbors were saying. It seems every mother or in this case father who ends up killing their children are mysteriously the nicest family in the neighborhood. I think these are the people you should really be looking out for. Everyday nice individuals who look like they have it all together. Seriously, it's usually the trashy, really messed up families who get the cops called on them, but they simply make more of them. I say we monitor the really nice happy families cause in this world we live, there is obviously something wrong with them.

I got a haircut yesterday

and Loved it!

Here's some Work

It's a beautiful day in LA

I'm back in LA again. this time it only took me an hour to get to Pasadena. I don't understand the traffic schedules of this city. Perhaps one has to outsmart the roads.
I have a full hour to wait before the party starts tonight, so I decided I would get some coffee and kill some time. I'm at Starbucks right now...much better than Coffee Bean.

It would be a dream to work from home, then I could live anywhere I want.
My job is unique/specialized enough where it would make sense for me to work from home. I'm world wide...International...alone in my position...I am the only one who does what I do. I like that fact.

My job description: Network, make connections, promote, be cool, get on the inside, annoy the VP's. I like it...BUT...I could do this from home. emails and phone calls are my day. Meetings only happen once every two weeks. I could do this from Europe, Asia, Africa even. I think I might suggest I take networking trips to Europe and Australia. Perhaps I'll live there for two years. Maybe even Manhattan...maybe one year.

I've decided I like looking sharp. Wearing ties and suits. I need to acquire more ties and suits. Sky blue is a good color on me...really brings out my eyes.

I think Brown looks good on KCS
Hot Pink on Unit64
Tiger Orange on DMH
Khaki on Bushylick
Royal Blue on j
I wonder what color people will be wearing tonight...I'm curious...I have a half hour before I find out.

The Weekend

I decided to change things up a bit. Instead of Starbucks, Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf. I think Starbucks is better.

The weekend update:
Dinner at Blair's in Sliver Lake was amazing! Best steak I've had in a long time.
Hookah Bar off sunset in Silverlake. Relaxing times with relaxing friend.
Breakfast at The Coffee Table in Eagle Rock. Eggs from Hell was spicy and delicious.
A few afternoon beers while watching Desparato.
Knocked Up at the Los Feliz Theatre with friends
Hollywood Hills party to top off the night.

Some would say my weekend was pretty eventful and exciting. To me, it's just another weekend in LA. I love LA. I love the Hollywood Hills and the thought of maybe one day being able to own a $3.6mil. home and lend it out to my friends when I'm gone for the weekends. I love the "stuff" to do, and choice of not doing the "stuff" and just staying in (in LA).

Laguna Niguel is a different story. Not much going on, not a whole lot of options, more families than trendy types. Not really exciting. The choice to stay in is not really a choice at all, it's inevitable. I spent 2hours and 15minutes on the 5fwy. last friday to have an incredible weekend with friends. I don't really mind the drive once I'm where I want to be. Some may disagree, but for right now, at this time in my life, LA is the shit.

Just noticing a trend

I've been on the blogging tour for a little while now. I just got my laptop about a month ago and have tried to make up for lost time. Pretty much, if you look at a comment on any of my blog links, I'll have written something. BUT...and this is what I've been noticing...I kill comment strings, or I just catch them at the wrong times, because I tend to be the very last person to comment on every single post. I have a sister we like to make fun of because she kills joking strings, I wonder if this is just something that runs in the family?

A Brief Continuation

De-constructing a belief with the intention to build it back up makes sense to me. If the questions being asked are asked with the honest intention to rebuild upon a stronger foundation, why not question? It would be naive of me not to question, or have questioned Christian foundations...who would I be if I haven't? But, the purpose of this breakdown, separation and search is to build a stronger foundation on what is knowable. There are certain mysteries of the Bible that are unknown, and cannot be certain. However, the character of God and the purpose of Jesus are crystal clear. No mystery. What saddens me, is the individual who's purpose in questioning is to deconstruct a faith they once lived, so they are not held accountable to their sin. Thus they build their own foundation on the unknown mysteries of the Bible and have disproved Biblical foundations altogether. Bits and pieces of Biblical principles will be their focus, along with bits and pieces of eastern principles etc.

Theology

I've been in conversations lately which I would title, The Purpose of Jesus and Sin. The conversations are generally about sin, what is considered sin, how do we define sin etc., or Jesus' purpose, Jesus' example and the human element within the "why" Jesus at all. People are always claiming to be searching for answers when theological questions arise, but are they? I mean, I have questions about general information that I am not actively searching for answers to right now. For example: How do I make soup taste the way my mother made it? Why does Modest Mouse only have one song worth listening to on their newest album? Why does my car get horrible gas mileage? Among other questions I'm not searching for answers. Furthermore, I have made conclusions on some questions without even really searching for answers. For instance, my car's gas mileage...probably because it needs a tune up, that's my conclusion, I'm not going to search any longer for that answer, it may not be the right answer, but I've made it my answer.

I know these are gross analogies, but it makes sense in my mind. If I were really trying to find out how my mother makes soup taste the way it does, I'd most likely talk with my mom to answer that question. I would not consult Betty Crocker or go to soup conferences and trade shows, or listen to a speaker on soup or become apart of a cause to end horrible soup making. Nor would I look to those who have tasted my mom's soup (my sisters for example) and determine their way of making soup is so grossly embarrassing to how my mother makes soup, I'm not even going to associate with that kind of soup making, therefore driving me to decide that I must make the soup I think my mom intended it to be made and thus creating, in a way, my own soup.

Sometimes the answers to the questions we ask about Jesus, God and Sin are so clear, we really don't have to keep questioning. Like, did Jesus sin? For those who like questioning and not really looking for the answers, it's a great question to ponder; but honestly, if one believes in the God of the Bible, and understands the character of this God, than is that really a "good" question? If it is in Jesus' character to sin, than you must also believe it is in God's character to sin as well. Making a belief and trust in that God no more confident than the belief and trust in your neighbor. Or, you must not believe Jesus was God, thus not making you a Christian at all. And, if that question is sparked by the actions of those who grossly interpret and believe in this God of the Bible, and the "search" for the answer to the question is dictated by "God conferences", speakers, social causes etc. and not directed to the actual Creator Himself, then what are you really doing? To me, you are creating in essence, your own idea of God, and from there, creating a reality which does not have truth at all.

I believe it is easy for people to hide behind the search, creating a god that fits their needs and convictions, a god without reference, without boundries. Once their god is created there is freedom to live life according to their own will. Freeing them to live life motored by impulse rather than reverence and submission. Thus, people ask questions for the sake of asking questions, which triggers an existential collapse and results in a slow, anguished decay... leaving a shadow with no conviction, and tragically someone who is rendered irrelevant.

Anybody a "Way of the Gun" fan?

haven't seen it in a while...

What other movies haven't I seen in a while?

Drop Dead Fred
Titanic
A River Runs Through It
Red Dawn
E.T.
American Graffiti
Schindler's List
Police Academy 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10...etc.
Airplane
Rambo First Blood
Strange Brew
Fatal Attraction (actually, never seen it)
Terminator II
What's Eating Gilbert Grape
Fight Club
Se7en
Godfather I & II
Legends of the Fall
Top Gun

Am I missing any movies you haven't seen in a while, or did I name any you have seen lately?

Reading can be like Jogging

In response to KCS's post "I miss reading...for me".

For some, jogging has a real purpose. They anticipate the push, the clarity, the pumping of the blood and burn of the muscle etc. For me, I find jogging to be a complete waste of my time. Although I believe jogging is good for me and will do wonders for me in the future, I just don't see any purpose to it other than: human= running. I understand people must jog to loose weight etc. but, I don't have to lose weight, I'm actually pretty thin. I do a lot of walking, especially when I'm traveling and taking pictures, but, I usually walk with a purpose. To jog simply to jog, blows my mind.
Which brings me to reading.
In the past, reading was something I did for a purpose, or something I had to do. By the age of 7 my dad tried to make me read A Tale of Two Cities. It was me, a lamp, a couch, the Tale, a pad of paper, a pencil and a dictionary (so I could look up words I didn't understand, write them down, and come up with other sentences to use the unknown word in). It felt like I was going on a 5 mile jog; just way too much for me.
Anyway, to tie this all together. I enjoy reading, I have for some time now. However, it took me many, many years to feel that way. Every time I picked up a new book, whether it be The Picture of Dorian Gray, On the Road or Choke, I had to convince myself I was actually doing something. I had to Convince myself that it was not a waste of time, but I was going to enjoy it. Even today, when I look at the book I've been reading for 6 months now...I cannot get myself to read it. I know I want to and should...it's a great book!But, I have a difficult time convincing myself "I'm doing something." I enjoy it though.

I hate jogging.

It's funny that watching ESPN/FOX/CNN/News/Discovery Channel/History Channel etc, or simply listening to music with a beer makes me "feel" like I'm doing "something". I think I'll go home tonight and...ahh hell, who am I kidding, I know I'm not going to read tonight!